You’ve seen those movies, especially if you are older and watched the 80’s movies. You know the ones. Awkward, nerdy, shy girl (or guy) transforms to a beautiful (or handsome), suddenly popular girl/guy and gets the handsome hunky guy or gorgeous cheerleader! {Sigh.} Holy crap what a nightmare! (Not getting the guy or girl, necessarily, but the popularity part!) Though I didn’t understand it at the time, I was perfectly satisfied with being on the fringes. I didn’t and still don’t like the spotlight. That is not where I’m comfortable. Not to say that I didn’t love those movies, and still get that euphoric feeling when the “good girl” wins. Just wasn’t and isn’t for me personally.
Yeah, people might think I’m nuts, but I bet many of you know exactly what I mean. I daydreamed when I was a teenager that popularity would suddenly be mine. I’d be the girl everyone wanted to hang with and be associated with. Then I’d wake up from that daydream and think, “Who am I kidding?!” I have a nervous breakdown when my phone rings … I have a cell phone people! Text me! Don’t make me actually have to talk to you! Being popular would have done me in. So I am satisfied with being on the edges, watching the lives of others play out in front of me. I soak it up like a sponge. In the dictionary, you look up the definition of wallflower and there is a picture of me!
Now that doesn’t mean I wasn’t involved in things. I was and am to a point now. I participated in clubs, volunteered my time with charities, went to events at high school and college, and even did some things that were not comfortable for me like having to give speeches or run meetings at work. I can adapt. I have no regrets in my life for being in the shadows and not the spotlight. Just because I’m not receiving the kudos and awards doesn’t mean I haven’t contributed just as much as those who are. In all reality, probably more. But I’m fine letting them deal with all that extra stuff. I’ll keep doing my thing, uninterrupted, in my own little world just like I like it.
I guess what I’m trying to point out is that being a wallflower isn’t that bad. It shouldn’t be considered negative. Maybe, we don’t wanna be in that world! Maybe, we don’t need approval from anyone else to feel okay with who we are. Maybe, just maybe, we like it that way. Hmmmm….imagine that! Yes, we might be awkward. We might be shy. So what? If we have low self-esteem, it’s because we let those who don’t understand us define who they think we should be. Naw, I’m good with being me. Being home instead of partying, reading a book instead of out in a crowd. I like my dog better than most people anyway.
Here’s 5 reasons why I love being a wallflower:
*No one will remember you were there! I know this sounds bad, but, if things go south at that party you attended, you can deny, deny, deny! Who me? No, I wasn’t there…Silver lining! Most of the people who don’t remember you attended aren’t worth you knowing anyway.
*Better than a soap opera: All I need is a chair and some snacks! I can sit back and watch the drama unfold, not being a part of it at all! It’s surprising how much you can learn about a person by just observing how they act and react in certain situations.
*Don’t have to stay: I can sneak out and be on my way home to a hot mug of coffee and a book without too much fuss. While everyone else is stuck, I’m home in my comfy PJs!
*No one expects me to show: If I do, they are pleasantly surprised, if I don’t, no one will miss me anyway. So I have the option of doing what I want to do without being pressured. Gotta love that!
*Can keep them guessing: They think wallflowers are just shy people idolizing those who are point and center of attention…namely them. Well, being shy may be partly true, but for me, it’s more of a “I don’t want to waste my time on menial small talk and fake smiles, laughs and relationships” kind of thing. I don’t care what kind of fabric your shirt is made of, or where you bought your bracelet, or how it took you 4 hours of shopping to find the shoes you are wearing tonight. Especially when I’m standing there in an outfit I bought 10 years ago and pulled out of a box in the bottom of my closet. Let’s talk about homelessness, technology that might allow us to vacation on Mars, or the mysteries of the world!
So I admit it. I really do fall into the nerd category. A true wallflower. But I love it. I have gone ghost hunting, I listen to creepy monster podcasts, and I read books about everything from biographies on the presidents to why people are disappearing when out for a hike. I have read classics and trashy romances. I am curious about every aspect of life. Conversations with others who like meaningful discussions are my favorite pastime! I love to laugh. And watch others smile. So don’t be too hard on yourself if you fall into the wallflower category. In a garden, all the plants are needed to make it beautiful and complete. Some plants aren’t as colorful or bright, but they are special and stunning in their own right.
